Cheater Genius

Call Mensa. I recently took this online IQ test, and I got a 147. To qualify for Mensa, the elite society of geniuses, you need a minimum of 145 so you can join the ranks of Stephen Hawkins or Lisa Simpson.

In the Spring Break of `97, a few of us were down in LA, walking around the Hollywood stars and happened upon an Ann Rynd store who were doing personality & IQ tests. At that point, my buddy Roy scored a 142, and I got a 132 or so. It was the low 130s. Good, but not Mensa quality. I wasn't too surprised from my score, I new I was some-what smart, but there was a reason. We opted not to buy the books they were selling there...

Going further back, in my high school, we had The Quiz Bowl. It was an annual event where the top 10 smartest kids in your class participated in a competitive smart-off or what have you. The first year I didn't make it. But last three years I did. I still have some T-shirts from those events. The point of the matter is this; all 4 years, they never changed their pre-qualification questions. Thus I was able to answer three years in a row, correctly, what a periorbital hematoma was (black eye). And if there is something unique about my brain, it feasts on random facts. Just put all that crap in my head, and I'll flush it into a safe place, using it later to impress those who don't flush often. Or something. (Metaphors and analogies aren't my forte.)

So, the next three years I made it onto the Quiz bowl team, then, placed in front of the school during a 2 hour assembly, we battled wits. Well, I didn't. I sat there, immutable, watching my team mates answer. I attempted one question only, "Kentucky is bordered by 7 seven states, name five of them." I missed it by adding North Carolina. Coincidently, I have since had a overt interest in maps and geography. Making up for that loss I suppose, even though we won overall.

Which brings me back to my supposed 147 IQ. Yeah, I've taken that same IQ test thrice over the past few years. I'm getting better every time. Is that cheating? Maybe. Or maybe they should change their material. Either way, doesn't hurt the ol' ego. And Lord knows I don't need any more maps. I probably don't need Mensa either.

Interestingly, as we were leaving the Ann Rynd store, I was told that my personality was best suited for acting. Funny, in that actors think their pretty smart too...