Disney movie in review

I am not sure how to label it correctly, but I am becoming a Disney pro, at least with regards to their movies, uhm, specifically the girlie ones, sadly.

Yes, there are days wherein we watch Beauty and the Beast or Little Mermaid 3 times in one day. Good thing the themes aren't suicide in those movies. But, I am at odds with The Little Mermaid. What a terrible motive it drives; disobey your parent, make a deal with the witch in order to get yourself in a better position with a guy who doesn't have a problem with statutory issues (Ariel being 16 and all...). Not only that, but then mortgaging your dad's soul only to have your new boyfriend kill your enemy, and then have daddy grant your misguided wish in the end. Hate it.

As it was pointed out to me earlier this week, Disney certainly has issues with putting mothers in their movies. Please note that Ariel, Belle, Snow White, Jasmine, Lilo (and Stitch) and Cinderella do not have moms. Others would be Nemo and Bambi who have mom's that are voiolently killed. Pinocchio is, uh, I guess it doesn't matter -- Jiminy Cricket is his mom in a way. There are a few with moms, but they play very minor roles; Mulan, Sleeping Beauty (aka, Aurora, Briar Rose), thankfully the Incredibles have a mom that is prominent. There are a some movies where having a mother is not so important; Toy Story, WALL-E, and perhaps even Simba of the Lion King. (I need to watch this one again.)

I suppose in a way it is to have us connect more quickly with a sympathetic bond to the character, but overall, I mean, these stories could have been avoided with a good mother having NOT been killed off by malicious Disney writers. I mean, maybe Ariel would have made it to her 17th birthday unwed had she been reared by a caring mother. (Although she is a head-strong redhead -- hard to say.) At the same time, I could cite King Triton as culpable as he CLEARLY engaged in polygamy looking at all the closely aged daughters he has. And no son to speak of... slow swimmers I guess. Stay out of the hot tub buddy.

Belle has class and grace, so I imagine her mother died not too long ago since in the beginning Belle sings of having recently moved to this "provincial town." Creating a back story, I reckon her father moved out of the loving house he and his wife had built, to a place that didn't remind him of her. Coincidentally, I feel Gaston has a back story of knowing about the beast and the castle he lives in which he all-of-a-sudden mentions during his song. I've already put together a pretty good story for that.

Cinderella's mom died early on, as the beginning says as much. Of course, she gets that wicked step-mother who does not have much foresight. Look, your daughters get uglier with age, so bank on Cinderella making it big and taking care of the whole family later on. She really messed up, and if I had been Cinderella in a non-gay way, those step-family members would find their respective heads on chopping blocks.

Jasmine is probably the product of a drunken sultan and a full harem. Arabian nights for sure... nuff said. But that lack of mothering led her into the arms of a common thief. Sure, in the end he pretends to be a good guy, but I bet he turned to thievery because he didn't have a caring mom either.

I don't like Snow White. Any chick that digs living with 7 dwarves is NOT my kind of woman and should seek counseling for such fetishes. And those seven dwarves are idiots, not lovable as they obviously have no clue for managing finances. They work every day in a mine replete with gems and diamonds, and yet live in a one bedroom cottage. I don't buy it. They must be using that filthy lucre for other devious methods, such as crack-cocaine addiction or monthly membership dues to NAMBLA. A mother could have steered Snow White clear of such devises.

Lilo is set up to be an obvious match for a maniacal escape alien convict on the run. And because I like Stitch, I'll let this motherless duo slide. But, again, had a mother been involved, Stitch would have been booted out for reasons any human would; it's a friggin' alien!

So I wonder if the overall message from Disney is to show us just how important mothers really are. By giving us these motherless stories, they demonstrate just how bad it can be without a mom in the life of a child. Because clearly these father-only families are just not cutting it.

My regards to Nemo and Bambi, but I am sure your respective mothers were tasty. Actually, haven eaten a Bambi mother myself, I can vouch for that. And yes, I'd do it again even if it provoked another motherless Disney movie.